


i wanna feel your heart

by Whoaitspurple



Series: you're the only one who recovers me [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Danvers, Episode Fix-it, F/F, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 08:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9876785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoaitspurple/pseuds/Whoaitspurple
Summary: Continuation to "no amount of chaos" vday fix it. Oops.She's here now...with Alex...and For a second, she almost wants to wake her up just so she can see her eyes or something because -- seriously, Maggie has never been soft, ever...until that first night at the bar when she decided the green in Alex's eyes were her new favourite colour





	

**Author's Note:**

> Here I go again. I can't stop guys!!!
> 
> So. Many. Feelings.
> 
> This one hit close to home. I hope I did this justice.

Maggie flutters her eyes open and for a split second she kind of forgets where she is until she feels Alex move softly next to her and she couldn't help but smile even if it is just after dawn from what little ray of light is slipping through the blinds.

She moves the covers a tiny bit to get closer to her girlfriend making Alex shift in her sleep, lifting her left arm across Maggie and pulling her even closer. She's still sleeping, Maggie can tell from Alex's small sigh and mumbling something incoherent; it's insane how adorable she finds it when Alex talks in her sleep. 

She replays the night before in her mind; the way she could no longer push aside that memory from fourteen years ago. She thought she's tucked that pain so far back into her brain; the hurt and the humiliation and the  _heart break_. But it was there and she resents herself for not only letting Alex see that but for almost pushing away the best thing that's ever happened to her.

Alex mumbles something else, snapping Maggie out of her thoughts and back to this moment. 

 _This moment_.

She's here now...with Alex...and it goes back to that and she realizes she will always--  _happily --_ go back to that. _Alex. Alex. Alex._ For a second, she almost wants to wake her up just so she can see her eyes or something because -- seriously, Maggie has never been soft, ever...until that first night at the bar when she decided the green in Alex's eyes were her new favourite colour.

And for a tiny moment, even though it kills her, she lets herself think,  _if things were different, they would've loved you._

"I can hear you thinking." She hears Alex say softly, her eyes still closed but adjusting herself so she can bury her face in the crook of Maggie's neck, "It's too early to be thinking." She says, her voice muffled.

Maggie smiles quietly, wrapping her arms around the woman next to her. She inhales her scent and feels the weight on her shoulders shift immediately.

Alex looks up to place a kiss on Maggie's lips.

"Good morning, Danvers." Maggie whispers against the kiss.

"Morning, Sawyer." She says back, her voice still filled with sleep.

They stay like that for a while and it's that quiet moment when Alex can tell Maggie is still hurting but she doesn't pry; she doesn't ask if she's okay because she knows she's not. But all Alex knows how to do is to be there, to hold her and remind her, every day if she has to, that she isn't alone.

"When umm...when my dad kicked me out," She hears Maggie say hesitantly, "He didn't even yell."

Alex doesn't move; she stays close to Maggie's chest, wrapping her arm around her just a bit tighter.

"I came home and my bags were packed. My mom was at the kitchen table, crying and my dad was leaning against the counter. He could barely even look at me." Her voice breaks and that's when Alex pulls back to look at Maggie, ready to hold her together if she begins to fall apart again, "He just said that he didn't raise a daughter to turn out the way that I did. That if I wanted to live my life this way that they weren't going to be a part of it." She breathes in deeply, picking at a small thread on the comforter, "I was fourteen...I couldn't even fully comprehend was what happening yet. I was still so confused and hurt and...just--

Maggie can feel the anger bubbling inside of her and just before she lets that familiar ache tear open that wound again, she feels Alex squeeze her hand. She looks up at those green eyes and realises this makes her feel stronger somehow.  _She_ makes her feel stronger somehow.

"All I remember was feeling so numb. Sometimes I wish he would've just yelled...or hit me or something. His silence left me in a trance....for years I think. He was so angry but I had no chance to fight back because he didn't even  _try_  to fight for me."

 _"_ Anyway, when I moved in with my Zia," She says, shaking her head a little,"my mom's sister, things got better eventually. For me, anyway. She took me in and even though it took a while, she made me believe there was nothing wrong with being who I am. There wasn't a day that she made me feel ashamed to be me. She even got my parents to reach out to me again....it took years...from both parties, of course because I was so angry at them. I still am..." She tucks a few strands of hair behind her ear and adjusts herself so her elbow is resting on the pillow by Alex's head. 

"I mean, they're not bad people..." she runs a hand through her hair, as Alex bites the inside of her cheek. It didn't go unnoticed. "They're just...stuck in their ways, I suppose." She sighs, shrugging her shoulders.

"And your aunt," Alex says carefully, tracing shapes on the top of Maggie's hand, "she sounds great. Are you still in contact with her?"

Maggies smiles warmly for the first time since the conversation started, "I am." She nods, "She emails me a lot." She says with a small laugh, almost timidly and Alex smiles, lifting her hand to rub the pad of her thumb against Maggie's cheek.

"And she'll usually call if she doesn't hear from me for more than a week. I know she hates that I don't come home; maybe a holiday here and there, but she doesn't push, which...with Italians, I know how much it kills her." She says with a small smile, "She knows how badly I needed to distance myself from that part of my life. She's the only family that didn't shun me. She did everything to make sure I had a normal life, you know? She was my person for a long time."

To Alex, it wasn't just that Maggie was telling her this story. She could tell that Maggie needed to say these things out loud. Like she never got the chance to heal from this....this experience because she wanted so badly to push it down and forget that it ever happened; to pretend that it never happened.

"Alex, I'm sorry about last night." Maggie says again, lacing their fingers together.

"I told you, you don't have to--

"No, I do." Maggie interrupts, "Because I preached to you for so long to be yourself and to not push down your feelings, when there I was, trying so hard to forget my past that I never even considered how much it could still affect my future. I couldn't even imagine if I walked away last night and you never-- and I didn't get a chance to explain--

Alex shakes her head, not even wanting to hear the sort of possibility of not being here in this moment, right now, with this incredible woman in front of her.

"You said yesterday morning that we were right for each other, Sawyer. So I'm gonna take that as you  _do_ really like me and so, I promise you, that I will never walk away from this without a fight. Because you and I? What we have is worth it to me. It's worth everything, Maggie."

The brunette smiles and leans in, kissing Alex slowly and passionately; trying to make her feel what she can't possibly put into words because this? It  _is_ worth everything.

"Thank you for letting me in," Alex says after they pull apart.

"Thank you for being amazing and listening to me." 

Alex kisses her again quickly before pushing the covers off herself.

"Where are you going?" Maggie asks, her eyebrows furrowing. 

Alex laughs, "I didn't expect you to be awake before me--

"Because I'm never awake before you."

"Precisely." Alex is pulling a pair of black jeans on as Maggie leans back on both elbows on the bed, watching her, "I wanted to get fresh bagels and coffee downstairs for when you wake up. I'll be back in 10 minutes."

Maggie laughs and shakes her head and then--

"Wait, Danvers!"

Alex stops before she gets to the door, "Yeah?"

"I wanted to tell you that I love you..." She says with a small smile, "We were having a moment but the bagels are apparently more important and--

Alex runs back to the bed and takes Maggie's face and kisses her fiercely, and she swears that this feeling, right now, is what she imagines flying must feel like. 

"I love you too, Sawyer."

Alex kisses the tip of Maggie's nose quickly before running out the door.

Maggie lets out a small laugh and looks over at her phone before picking it up and dialing the only phone number she remembers off by heart.

"Hi, Zia." She says warmly through the phone, "Oh, come on, we talked 2 days ago....no, no everything is fine...perfect actually...I just...remember that girl I told you about? ...yeah, you were right...I'm head over heels here, Zia."


End file.
